Confession About My Unhealthy Obsession

I am unnaturally infatuated with dramatic doctor shows. I know that they all have trashy plot lines and ridiculously fabricated medical situations, but I just cannot get enough of them. ER, House, Grey's Anatomy, etc...

These shows vary widely in their levels of awfulness, but there are some that are so terrible that I simply refuse to watch. (Mercy, Nurse Jackie, and HawthoRNe - I'm looking at you.)

For the less experienced viewer it might take an entire episode to determine whether or not the show will have the right balance of trash and attraction to make it part of your weekly viewing schedule. I however, can make the determination before the first commercial break.

Here is a helpful list of things to look for in a great trashy but addictive hospital show:

1. The main character is a flawed but endearing newbie with a lot to learn.

2. There are a minimum of 3 super humanly gorgeous male doctors.

3. There is an experienced doctor/ nurse who is always making jokes about the new doctors/ nurses. This person seems grumpy and cynical, but they really just care too much. Bonus points if that person says "I'm getting too old for this" at any time.

4. There are at least 3 medical-sounding words that sound made up in the first 15 minutes.

5. Somebody yells "STAT!!" You know that it's going to be dramatic if they say "STAT".

6. Two people hook up in the on-call room within the first 20 minutes.

7. There is a "maverick", "rogue", or "cowboy" character.

8. They use a Regina Spektor or Ingrid Michaelson song for background music. They are so soothing after a really dramatic scene.

9. They leave you hanging at every single commercial break with something wildly dramatic. Bonus if it's punctuated with a heart monitor noise or a heartbeat itself.

10. There are a minimum of 3 super humanly gorgeous male doctors.

I know these shows are marvelously trashy, but please don't judge me too harshly.

I just can't resist.